#which like… seems like it goes without saying but a lot of people do just decide their pet is too old and surrender it to a shelter
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dykedvonte · 22 hours ago
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I was rewatching mouthwashing, and I ended up thinking of the different reactions that Curly and Jimmy had in doing their tasks. How during the scene of Anya evaluating Jimmy and showing dread towards the idea of doing his evaluation, Curly was the one that offered to take it off her hands. He had no issue with adding more to his plate, because he knew - or well, thought, he knew that Jimmy wasn't going to "bullshit" with him since he's known him for a long time. When Anya hands Curly a note from Swansea, Curly goes to check out what the issue is and he takes care of it without a complaint, the only "complaint" he has is how this incident could have damaged the pods. Which is reasonable, those pods are their only way to be saved if anything tragic happens on the ship. However, in comparison to Jimmy being asked to do things, he's passive-aggressive about it. When Anya asks Jimmy if he could help her out with Curly's painkillers, he tells her that people should be worth their titles, specifically using her title as a nurse when she asked him for help and then when she says forget it, since he made her feel insecure, he still goes "Oh no, I'LL take care of it" as if he was doing a chore, a favor for her. Then, there's that part where he blows up at her for things that she didn't even ask him to do - more so the others asked him about it, like the code scanner, him deciding he needed to find the axe for the foam, and then, there's the medicine part (which when she does ask, and she reconsiders - going to do it herself, he takes that away from her). Jimmy complains about the tasks he has to do and he treats it like a big issue, a "woes me" that he has to do this and that - wanting the praise of the capital without actually doing any work. While Curly doesn't complain about it, in fact, he even mentions that he's aware of how well he is doing at his job as a Captain during that cockpit scene with him and Jimmy. If Jimmy only had to do a small amount of tasks to get irritated and annoyed at being captain, while Curly didn't which I feel like encapsulates their personalities. Curly understands what he's doing is a job, it's a responsibility, why would he complain at any point for doing what he's suppose too? Why would he be upset at people asking him to do tasks? While Jimmy on the other hand, isn't used to it at all and it's different to what he's had before and he's realizing that he doesn't actually like doing the work he has too. I just wanted to ramble about it even if it seemed kind of obvious xd
It’s obvious but it is a thing people miss or understate when trying to find parallels in Curly’s and Jimmy’s relationship/personalities.
Like the way people portray it as neither taking responsibility when it is almost split down the middle of Curly taking responsibilities and faults that shouldn’t be his and making himself unequipped to handle the ones that are while Jimmy refuses to handle the responsibilities he has because he wasn’t expecting the work that comes with them.
Not a lot to say but people forget that another thing the game comments on is prioritization of issues and responsibilities and how the guys fail at it in one way or another in the situation.
#this talk of responsibility is more so about me be very annoyed with people acting like Swansea was the most responsible man on that ship#when he immediately takes a break after his intern in stuck in the foam starts drinking the moment he find out the mouthwash is alcoholic#doesn’t tell anyone about the cryopod or explain himself and did nothing about Jimmy either until it was too late#like I’m sorry but he is also the last guy I’d like to hear about responsibility from cause he did just as bad as Curly post crash like he#wasn’t even nice to Anya outside the one conversation we see he was actually just as rude to her as he was Daisuke when they cracked open#the crates and dismissive before hand like I’m getting more mad at the glorification of one guy vs the woman whose doing the most 4 herself#like I get his speech and the recognition of his faults but he still had them and they still were his downfall in the end and part of the#reason Daisuke listened to Jimmy and it’s not his fault that happened but it’s the same way it’s not Curly’s fault Jimmy is like that#but I digress cause people don’t exactly like when we actually discuss the responsibilities the crew mates should’ve and shouldn’t have had#or what they actually did to help cause idk Anya likely would not feel supported by any of them after the fact if they survived like girl#only ever got attention for her problems when they were literally at the worst that’s not helping or taking responsibility like she had to#kill herself to feel some sort of relief also the irony about Curly’s concern about killing herself only#for it to get to the point she actually did because there was no safety for her they all failed her#Swansea would’ve just told her to tell the captain and he’d watch Jimmy and ultimately it would play out the same cause he’s tries to not#get to involved cause he’s old and been through enough already and she’d feel just as unheard like he was closer to Daisuke#and not once after the crash did he really try to steer him away from liking Jimmy which again he points out himself#like I love Swansea and Daisuke but they were just as complacent in Anya’s suffering and Jimmy’s behavior even if they knew less that should#not make them more viable options or it more excusable like crazy conclusions to comes to ig on my part but yall hate#the idea that maybe a major point is that Anya was alone as a woman and overlooked#mouthwashing#ask#mouthwashing game#anon#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing
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thetepes · 17 hours ago
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Not to play devils advocate, but I feel like lilys opinion on the usage of the n word is valid. Regardless of someone’s race, I think it’s a little backwards to dictate what someone has to say about another races cultures just because they’re white (or not of that culture), differing opinions aren’t the end of the world and hers wasn’t inherently racist I fear the same goes for the anime thing too, I’m sorry but Japan DOES have of a loli problem, even if her wording was extreme
I’m not white myself (to be fair, not black/japanese either), not that I think it matters to what I can and can’t say about this but I don’t want you to assume I am white because I somewhat defended lily, which is someone I did NOT want to run defense to but maybe I’m too conservative for this space but I mean this in the most respectful way possible, it feels like some of you are reaching on some things just to paint her in a worse light, as if she wasn’t already famously bad 😭
(Feel free to correct me, I’m not trying to be intentionally ignorant for the sake of it I’m just tired of hearing of a lot of echo chambers about the issue without getting to WHY what she says is racist when I think like pretty reasonable??)
Anon, my friend, I do not know how to break this to you, but that is racist. I know you do not mean to be. I know you're trying your best to be as inoffensive as possible. I'm going to do my very best to answer you genuinely because you seem genuine.
Saying Japan has a Loli problem is like saying America has a child pageant problem. It's there. It's a problem, but it's not something floating on the surface everyone in Japan is aware of the magnitude of. It's a niche genre of ero fiction that comes up about as much to your every day Japanese person as child pageants in America.
In the 80's there was this loli boom that took place where it split off from your more typical bishōjo into lolicon. You would find stuff like Future Boy under that genre long before you'd find any ero.
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It wasn't until an otaku named Tsutomu Miyazaki was arrested in the late 80s that the darker side of loli came to the awareness of your every day Japanese person. It was a popular genre so there was a LOT of hentai of it. He killed and murdered several little girls between the ages of I think 3 to 6 and it started a panic very similar to the Satanic Panic that happened in USAmerica. He had a massive collection of anime and hentai. I mean massive. From normal things you'd see in Walmart to stuff you could only buy from very specific websites online no normal person would even know about. It wasn't just Loli that was effected though it was all anime.
It's why Otaku culture was so repressed and shameful for a long time and it even killed the Loli boom because the style was associated with the killings. It wasn't until very recently that Otaku culture made a come back, but still Loli isn't making that come back because of the online opinion on Lolicon. It's gone from an art style to something a lot darker and I think that's where the communication sort of faulters? Because if you say to a Japanese person "you have a loli problem" they're going to think you're having a Satanic Panic moment at them.
At least that's been my experience.
This whole thing is why there was the Moe boom in the 2000's, it was an over correction on the part of artists. Trying desperately to get away from that label and people taking advantage of that as well to make slop.
The rise of the Lolita in Harajuku also muddied the water on this because there's an entire beautiful subculture there that branches into a thousand different expressions. "You have a loli problem!" What's the problem with girls in frilly dresses?
You as someone online, who is adept at being online, in critical spaces and animation/anime spaces have so much more exposure to this stuff than anyone on the daily in Japan.
The entire world has a porn problem. The entire world has a sexualizing little girls problem. To point at Japan and specifically repeatedly deem the entire country as having an issue with pedophilia is racist. To go out of your way to bring it up when you're not even discussing anime or Japan is racist. When your hate and ignorance for a place and it's people bleeds into everything you do
That is racism.
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bleue-flora · 2 days ago
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speaking of lore inaccuracy I have been seeing people saying that c!sapnap dragged c!tommy into the first war with c!dream because c!sapnap stole c!tommys stuff and I can't find the clip for that but I take their word for it but c!tommy would have attacked c!dream regardless of that or not. Like if i remember correctly, c!tommy was talking about how he's sick of wars and doesn't want to be involved only to then go ahead and steal a bunch of stuff and kill people without giving back gear. c!sapnap may have dragged him into that fight with c!dream where they end up 2v1ing him but I think in the grand scheme of events it doesn't matter because he would have attacked him in another time somewhere else, nothing changes
[context]
Anon, please. I’m so triggered as it is but I also have like 700+ something pictures of dsmp map and I’d like to talk about some more of it before we hop subjects. I know, I’ve seen, I’m going do a post on it soon as I feel like someone needs to set the record straight and apparently my first [post] wasn’t enough (in fact, I may or may not have actually spent the better part of yesterday rewatching those streams). But I plead mercy, I have a Lot of different brain rots going on all at once from the time dilation we talked about the other week [post], to finally knowing what these maps are [post] [post] and the enchants of Quackity’s tools [post], to learning more about the prison [post], staged duo note [post], Dream’s hand writing and the letter to Techno [post]… etc… I am losing it… please send a medic, the brain rot is too strong.
Having said that though, I’m answering this incase you are in an ongoing debate with someone and need it, here is the [clip] you are talking about I believe. The argument that Sapnap pulled him into it only goes so far as Tommy can make his own decisions the same way Tubbo can. Also some of what made that conflict bigger was specific things Tommy did so blaming it on Sapnap is kinda ridiculous. It’s not like that’s even his first war or something anyways, Tommy is always down to kill Dream all on his own (and if you need proof of that, here is just one example [clip]).
Plus in this instance - as in the instance that starts the disc saga - Tommy is high off of his kill and says ‘we should kill more people whilst we’re at it’ and Dream just logged log on so Sapnap is like ‘should we kill Dream?’ and Tommy answers ‘Yeah let’s kill Dream!’ which hardly seems like Sapnap pulled him in to it. And if they are referring to the war prior to Dream logging on, that doesn’t matter anyways. The disc saga didn’t start when they went after Alyssa and Ponk, the disc saga started when they killed Dream unprovoked and refused to give back his stuff afterward [clip] [clip].
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termagax · 7 months ago
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i dont knowwwwwwwwwww i just. my thing is that i think the changelings could have an interesting place in the narrative given jims whole conflict is about trying to navigate his place in two worlds neither of which he completely fits in but both of which he needs to be his complete and authentic self. but they shoot themselves in the foot by making strickler the main one and they get sooooo close to doing this with nomura before getting bored and doing it again but worse with strickler. so in my mind i think this is why i was so set on addy being a changeling because i want her to fill that narrative role of someone who's ACTUALLY chill about this dichotomy and who really loves this part of herself without the baggage inherent to nomnoms situation (not acknowledging strickler he did most of that to himself). i just think he needs someone who can show him that its actually genuinely very possible to have both halves of his heart especially post-potion. but man. you cant really get there without dancing around the janus order stuff. and i know if she was real it would just be a cheap lampshade like "welllll shes a polymorph so. no familiar no problem" but that opens up a can of worms that i feel responsible for. and just in general the entire thing has so much baggage. i wish this show was GOOD.
#like i like the concept that the changelings were troll babies tortured with dark magic i think for me it justifies arrghs fondness for her#because hes in an extremely similar situation and i think him watching it happen under his command would be enough for him to say hm. i can#do this anymore goodbye. and i like those kinds of dynamics a lot#so i feel like you can just take that aspect and run with it#instead of the familiars give them some sort or mild innate mental magic? so they can write their identities into peoples lives#so you can still get that sense of like. an invader where its not supposed to be#without having to touch goblin baby kidnapping#'but that ruins the whole plot with claire' idgaf figure it out. i would do somwthing wlse with that anyways#they retroactively imply claires magic is innate later on in wizards anyways#so if youre gonna do that just make her brother also have it in some way which would make him a valuable asset if noticed by someone like#strickler. make it smt with the bridge or some other thing where they neeeeeeeed a magic user and itd be too risky to like. kidnap a studen#so they cant take claire. or nobodys noticed she has powers yet#make it so the baby goes missing and nobody seems to remember him at all EXCEPT claire#bcz strickler mind powers. which tangent but u can also use later for his thing w jims mom#and makes the whole 'we have to erase her memories of him' less convoluted bullshit#anyways back on track. just have the baby at the bridge ceremony for magic power reasons and in the conflict smth grabs him and takes him#thru the portal in the hopes of opening the bridge frm the other side#anyways.tthey had options is all im saying and they chose to do it in the worst way possible#just scrap the janus order im not touching that#it was so fucking pointless anyways. they didnt DO anything not one single thing
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snarltoothed · 8 months ago
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okay like two out of three of my cats are like… on death’s door basically despite them being all roughly the same age and sharing the same genetics (mother aged 16, son and daughter aged 15) and while i’ve accepted that i’ll be exceptionally lucky to get even another year or two with the momma cat (bonded to me) and that her son (bonded to my mom) is not too far behind… despite being the runt 15 years ago, the daughter (also bonded to me) is still quite spry and in good health so i literally tell her sometimes like you’d better live til you’re 20. i need at least five more years with you and also some time in between you and your mom dying. please.
#having old pets is sad#however i could not imagine willfully abandoning an elderly pet#which like… seems like it goes without saying but a lot of people do just decide their pet is too old and surrender it to a shelter#and miss daughter kitty was abandoned at like 10/11 by my cousin she did actually leave our household for a while#like who does that…#i mean no complaints i wanted to keep her when she was a kitten so i was more than happy to take her back but dude after ten years?#and she’s not even old in a sad way yet. and i’ve had her for an additional 4-5 years since#i mean it had something to do with her needing more attention after her other brother died and my cousin having kids and the cat probably#was not crazy about the kids she is very much a grumpy old lady even if she’s still lowkey a crackhead like a much younger cat#she is fat as fuck rn but idk what to do about that while the other two are still alive#like if we feed her less she will just steal more of their food than she already does because theyre too busy having arthritis to go eat#but like… we can’t just feed them less because they have a reduced appetite they still need to fucking eat…#so idk she’ll be going on a diet eventually but it’s not presently feasible#before i moved back in her diet was really strict because she hated my roomie’s cat so much she literally lived exclusively in my bedroom#so like i can adequately manage her diet when she’s not being a thief… but idk how to explain theft to a cat#at least i got her off iams dude idk what is in that shit but weaning her onto better food took at least six months and a lot of vomitting#like not ideal that she’s becoming obese again but she was this fat when i got her too (bc high carb iams diet)#HOWEVER her energy levels (while they’ve dropped since she was a healthy weight) are still wayy higher than when i got her#so getting fat from her high end gluten free purina and her relatives’ prescription hypoallergenic kibble and wet food for extra protein…#every other day (which has kept her from developing any visible muscle degeneration tyvm) is evidently healthier than being iams fat
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foldingfittedsheets · 3 months ago
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FFS’ Guide to Mattresses:
The following is a non-comprehensive list of questions I get asked a lot and is hopefully a good resource for anyone looking for a new mattress. I am not a scientist. I just sell beds. All bed knowledge is centered in the US, my apologies to international folks.
If this guide proves helpful you can consider popping a tip over on my Ko-fi to say thanks!
What’s the first step?
Well, first thing is gonna seem kind’ve obvious but a lot of people get mattresses secondhand and don’t think about it. Determine the feel you like! There’s no reason to sleep on a hard bed unless you like it, it’s not any better for your back. The three standard feels are firm, medium, and soft. Soft is called plush for stupid reasons. So find out which you like! It’ll narrow down what you look at, and save you time.
When trying out mattresses, use an A-B method. Do not compare every bed. Compare two at a time, otherwise you end up a confused mess. Pick one between the two that you like better, then put that one up against the next choice.
When you eliminate a bed it’s dead to you. Forget it. It was not as good as your new favorite and does not deserve to be remembered. If you cannot pick between two you will be tempted to try a third- this is the devil talking. A third will just make your life harder. If you truly can’t pick between beds that are comparable and they both feel nice after feeling your feelings then pick the cheaper one.
Lastly, mattresses are a huge example of “you get what you pay for”. Investing will pay off. Don’t get sticker shocked, budget what you can but know that mattresses can be freakin expensive. If you go into a store and see $5000 price tags, don’t worry, that’s not all they carry, but focus on the feel of the bed at first rather than price tag.
If you find one you love but it’s too much, the salesperson will know a comparable roll down or will usually try to help you get a deal. If you can admit, “I like this but it’s too much” they’ll work with you to find a solution.
What firmness is best?
This varies person to person but firm beds are not necessarily better for your body. Really. There’s two parts to a good mattress: support and comfort. Support goes underneath and is generally springs or incredibly dense foam. If a bed has good support, you can get away with lots of comfort.
The comfort layer exists to be gentle on your joints and pressure points. People who sleep on their side really need this comfort layer. Without this your shoulders and hips can’t circulate blood and you’ll end up tossing and turning every time your arm starts to fall asleep.
Back in the 1950’s when interconnected coils were the only thing on the market it made sense that you needed them to be firm, otherwise you’d get no back support. But nowadays coils are individually free standing, they do a much better job supporting bodies and bonus, they don’t have to be rock hard.
Most people should get somewhere around a medium bed rather than super firm or super soft but it depends on the persons preferences as all three can be good for you.
How can I tell if a bed has good support?
I’m so glad you asked. You lay on it. There’s a natural curve to the human spine. Lay first on your back. The arch in your lower back, that’s your lumbar. A good bed will push up and fill that area. If your muscles are trying to maintain that arch all night without help it will cause back pain and tossing. The more a bed fills your lumbar the better you can sleep.
Next, lay on your side. You’ll want to focus on your shoulders and hips. Good support on your back is great, but a mattress should have enough squish not to pinch off circulation. Lay for at least five minutes on your side unless you hate it right off the bat, I’m not saying every bed needs this in depth just the one you’re seriously considering. If you feel like you already need to roll over it’s too hard, go softer.
Should I get a topper?
A thousand times no. Toppers are used as a wide ranging bandaid from “there’s a hole in my bed” to “my back hurts”. Commercially available foams in toppers are significantly worse than the foams found in beds. They break down faster and sleep hotter than what they make mattresses with.
The only scenario in which you need a topper is if you’re stuck with a bed that’s too firm for you and you need it a little softer. That’s it. It can make your bed a little softer. It cannot fill holes or fix a bed with bad support. Generally aim to be over $200+ or the topper will break down ridiculously fast and be super hot to sleep on.
What do I do if there’s a divot in my bed?
First off, waterproof protectors can help avoid this problem, so take your bed divot as a life lesson and use a protector on all beds going forward. Our sweat and humidity breaks down foam like nobodies business, causing permanent damage.
So you have a divot, what now? Depends how entrenched it is. When beds get slept on every night for years the foam where a body lays compresses down, and the foam around it stays untouched. You’ll naturally start sinking. But you can get up and walk or crawl along all the foam that isn’t get slept on. If your divot is years deep it may be beyond saving but it’s worth a shot.
You can also rotate beds head to foot every six months and switch the side you and your partner sleep on or sleep all over the bed if you’re alone in it.
If the bed is over ten years old thank it for its service and get a new bed.
When should I get a new bed?
It’s worth checking your sleep quality at ten years into a mattress. The average life expectancy of a bed is 7-9 years. Not because the bed gave out necessarily but because human bodies change. We gain and lose weight, suffer injuries and age. A bed that worked for us eight years ago might not be what we need anymore. So just general age check is good. This is subject to the kind of mattress, bed in a boxes average 3-4 years of comfort so check in sooner.
But additionally: if your bed has a deep body trench where you’ve been sleeping, or if you’re waking up achey or in pain. There’s health problems that can reduce your sleep but a lot of people never suspect their mattress is sabotaging their rest, so keep it in mind.
How do I clean my bed?
Oh boy. You don’t. This goes back to water proof protectors. Your bed is not something you can pop in the wash. But it is something you will sweat and live in for upwards of ten years. Dust mites, dead skin cells, dust mite corpses, dust mite feces, allergens, skin oils. All those things will seep into the bed over time and spoiler alert it’s not great to breathe it in every night.
Sheets only catch a fraction of it, so a waterproof protector keeps the bed safe from your sweat breaking it down, but it keeps you safe from all the things that can build up in a mattress.
If you must clean a mattress I recommend a professional steaming service rather than trying to do it on your own but take this going forward: always protect your bed.
When should I get a new pillow?
Does your pillow have a waterproof protector on it? If no the answer is probably “right now”. Doctors recommend keeping a pillow no more than two years. This is because they’ll lose support and get yucky gross over those two years. If you get a memory foam pillow and get a protector on it they can last way longer. My oldest pillow was around seven years old.
Cheap polyfill pillows you buy at Target or Walmart are really only going to last three months before they wear out. If you are using more then one pillow at night you need a new pillow. Every time you have to wake up and adjust the multiple pillows you’re losing sleep.
Memory foam pillows can be more expensive but will last exponentially longer so save up and spend $50+ on a pillow you’ll actually get to use for a long time rather than $10 on one that will give you a few months of comfort.
What do I look for in a good pillow?
A good pillow is an extension of your spinal support. It should keep your neck aligned with your spine. Ideally, you are laying on a bed to try out a pillows height. It should match the width of your shoulder.
Most mattress stores can fit you for a pillow, but you can also bring a buddy to check your spinal alignment is straight. Side sleeping is most critical to get the height right. Back sleeping you just don’t want it too tall to force your chin down, and stomach you want it low enough not to push your neck up.
I replaced my pillow, now what?
Okay so now you might curse my name for a few days. Bodies are creatures of habit and hate change. Your neck might be in agony on the old pillow but it's familiar agony. So when you boot that sucker to the curb don't throw it out right away. As if I'd ever actually throw away a pillow when I could just hoard it forever.
Start each night on your new pillow. If you wake up in pain, switch back to the old one. Each night you should be able to stay on the new pillow longer and longer until your neck is finally happy. If the new pillow is consistently an issue after a week or more it may be too tall/low for you, unfortunately.
If I’m sleeping well do I really need to replace it (beds/pillows)?
Are you really sleeping well? Replacing beds or pillows is inherently stressful and a lot of peoples happy place is their bed. It’s hard to give up aspects of that cozy zone. If you’re really truly sleeping well no one is gonna make you change.
But generally if you find yourself asking this question you may be trying to convince yourself that things are good enough and ignoring that they could be much better.
Get a sleep tracker if some kind. Let it run for a week or two to see how much you’re tossing and waking up. If it’s a lot and your bed/pillow are old, it’s a good bed they’ve served their time.
If you ever wake up to readjust pillows (or at any point you’re using more than one pillow or mattress) then yes. You need a new one.
Good sleep is the result of the least disruptions. Anything you need to adjust in the middle of the night deserves a hard look and a boot to the curb.
Why shouldn’t I have my mattress flat on the floor?
Mold. Mold mold mold. Remember when I talked about how human bodies are humid? We put out a ridiculous amount of moisture as we sleep from exhalations to sweat. That builds up in the sponge under you and then your body heat maintains the ideal temperature to grow all sorts of nastiness.
You would not believe the amount of molded out beds I’ve seen. Even in the most arid areas, mold. It’s not worth it. Do not leave your bed on the floor. There’s like 2” frames if you like a low bed. If you must have your bed on the floor tip it up against a wall to ventilate every day. Mold will not wait for an invitation.
Japanese futons get brought up a lot here and first off- they get moved every night and washed regularly. Then left to ventilate. They understand that if they left it there it would mold.
Why do I sleep in X position?
Generally your body really wants your spine to curve in the right ways. Sleeping on your back would be ideal if the bed gave you everything you needed but most beds struggle to fill the lumbar. So when your muscles can’t hold your lumbar curve and want a break you roll onto your side.
Stomach sleepers are a case of back muscles fully declaring that nothing can support them and opting to invert rather than deal with poor support. It’s fully the worst sleeping position.
Before I sold beds I was almost 100% stomach sleeper due to scoliosis and back pain. Sometimes side. When I got my new bed I switched to only side and occasionally even back, which astonished me. As my bed has become less what I need I’ve reverted to occasional stomach bouts and less back sleeping.
Why don’t you like bed in a box?
Let me count the ways.
Box beds are the fast fashion of the bed world. They essentially corrupt the support part of the bed equation in order to get a product that can feasibly roll up and be compressed down. The foams are all lower density than they should be and give out quicker. The coils are significantly less steel.
The world cried out for an inexpensive bed and companies responded by giving you significantly less bed per dollar. They often use fiberglass as their flame retardant a requirement for all beds and there’s many testimonials about how poorly that’s gone for people.
But now the greatest sin of boxed beds is that they have the audacity to be marketed at the same price points of traditional beds that don’t roll up.
This robs the consumer of longevity. They’re a rip off. I sell them now at my store and I will do everything in my power to turn folks away onto beds that will actually do their damn job rather than bed mimics.
If you have a bed in a box, please understand that you’ll still get up to five years out of it, and you’re not foolish for buying one. They’ll still always be better than an old broken bed, just look to replace it sooner.
What is a good price point for a new bed?
This is really subjective, but you can get a queen size bed with independent coils for around $600. That’s the lowest good back support I’ve seen. You’ll get ten years out of it and it’ll be a bed.
Stepping into the $1000 mark gives better back support and pressure relief. Up from that they’re going to get more conforming.
Beyond $2000+ you’re generally paying for cooling. It’s the number one thing people want in a new bed but it costs more to give.
Rank Costco, IKEA, or bed in a boxes?
Bed in a box are my lowest tier, for reasons I’ve spoken of at length.
IKEA is next. They’re generally not boxed as of the last time I investigated ikea beds but they’re also just bare bones. Not a lot of either support or comfort, they tend to be around dorm quality.
Costco is a bit of a cheat here. See, they’re a wholesaler but mattresses aren’t something that overstocks- they’re made to order. Costco still wanted to offer a cheap option. So Costco gets beds made to order for really cheap. Now how can Costco offer it so much cheaper? By putting roughly 1/3 less stuff in it by category.
I had a spreadsheet laid out at one point to compare a sealy I carried against what looked like a comparable Costco bed. Every single component was shaved down. Each layer of foam, each coil, they all were about 1/3 less material than our better bed.
Now of course Costco sells boxed bed. So a non-boxed Costco bed is still better than an old broken bed and Costco will basically always take it back which is why they score higher than others but you’re still only going to get about three to five years out of it.
Do I really need a new boxspring? My old one is fine!
Is it really actually 100% fine? Is it just as old as the mattress? Are you willing to gamble the price of the new bed on the existing structural integrity? It’s been load bearing for the lifespan of a bed and the amount of boxes that are actually good to continue service are few and far between.
A few reasons to get new boxes: new beds are made much more floppy than old style to accommodate adjusting on adjustable bases. Old boxes may not offer adequate support for a new bed. Ideally what’s going under a new mattress is solid. No gaps. If you have slats it’s still ultimately better to put a bunkie board under the mattress rather than sitting it right on the slats. Also mattress manufacturers won’t warranty a bed that is on old boxes or improper support.
Adjustable bases are a wonderful replacement for box springs, bunkie boards should go over slats greater that 2” apart, and try to avoid frames that leave big open spaces under the bed.
If this guide was helpful you can consider popping a tip over on my Ko-fi to say thanks!
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pr0cyon-lotor · 4 months ago
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AU where Shen Yuan is transmigrated into the beast taming peak's head disciple that looks absolutely nothing like him (obviously not named sy but for clarity sake I'm saying Shen Yuan) when Shen Jiu comes in. He's barely paying attention to the beef this scrawny teenager has with him because he's too focused on hating his reflection because his body feels wrong and his mind is telling him his body is wrong (body dysphoria)
He just avoids mirrors and learns how to get ready without looking at his reflection. He's in a constant state of panic because his body feels wrong and he knows it's wrong.
And through accidents and pure vibes he gets Shen Jiu to somewhat like him. He doesn't even mean it, he was just was a decent person. They hang out with each other sometimes and eventually Shen Yuan gets close enough to Shen Jiu that he's allowed to help him cultivate and fix his meridians.
But the longer he's in the body, the more his soul rejects it. The meridians don't align with him, the limbs are too off, he's the wrong size, his hands are wrong, everything feeling wrong, even his eyes are wrong. And his soul knows it's wrong and is rejecting it.
Eventually it's Shen Jiu having to help him cultivate instead of the other way around. Shen Yuan is forced to step down as head disciple and there's even talk about him getting kicked out of the sect since he can't even properly cultivate anymore.
Their shishu from Qian Cao even starts to check on him and only finds bizarre things that have only been written about. That the soul was suddenly misaligned and it's trying to pass qi through meridians that doesn't fit it. Everyone points to the violent qi deviation he apparently had a while before.
Shen Yuan just lets it go in one ear and out the other. He knows why his soul is rejecting the body, but he says nothing. Suddenly everyone is treating him like glass and he's barely allowed to do anything "dangerous".
Shen Jiu doesn't baby him that much, but he's clearly worried. And during one of the times he's trying to help Shen Yuan with his cultivation, he notices something strange. He notices that the soul isn't misaligned, it just doesn't match. It's a barely noticable offset, but he did catch it.
Once Shen Yuan leaves, he immediately goes to Qing Jing's library to figure out any possibilities. The best thing he could figure out is possession. Supposedly, the changes started after Shen Yuan had his qi deviation, which is likely when the possession occurred, but that happened before Shen Jiu entered the sect so as far as he's concerned this Shen Yuan was his Shen Yuan. He couldn't mourn a man he never knew.
While Shen Jiu was doing research, Shen Yuan went to Shang Qinghua to ask about the sun moon dew mushroom. Shang Qinghua hesitantly makes a request for an off peak exploration with Shen Yuan. He lied a bit (a lot) and said it was to test a supposedly mystical spring said to help with such things.
The quest for the seed was a success (Su Xiyan probably helped). Shen Yuan is forced to use his deteriorating cultivation to grow the body. Shang Qinghua helps as well and is the one constantly checking on it since Shen Yuan isn't really allowed off the peak too often.
Around the 3rd year Shen Yuan is forced to be bedridden and uses spirit stones as a way to transfer his spiritual energy to the seed with Shang Qinghua being the one to bring them to the seed.
By the 5th year, his soul has practically fully rejected the body and was ready to just hop into the plant body. Everyone has been increasingly worried since Shen Yuan looks just about to drop dead and absolutely no cultivation seems to help.
Eventually Shen Yuan's Shizun suggests that they used a sun moon dew mushroom to save him, but the whole talk with Huan Hua was unsuccessful and took too long. By the time the Old Palace Master even allowed them to even look for the mushroom, the plant body was done growing and Shen Yuan finally dropped dead.
This obviously crushed a lot of people. Especially his Shizun who saw Shen Yuan as a son. And VERY MUCH Shen Jiu, who became an even worse shut in and his temper got worse.
When Shen Yuan finally crawls out of the ground, the Qing generation ascended. Shen Qingqiu is known to be an even worse shut in than he is in PIDW to the point that even a few of his own disciples don't know his face.
Shen Yuan is finally in a body like his old one and his cultivation also massively improves because he can finally actually cultivate. He goes to live his best life as a rogue cultivator under his real name.
He visits Shang Qinghua often enough to mostly hear about the goings on in the sect. He is at first surprised that Shen Jiu mourned him and even more surprised that he was Shen Qingqiu (the signs were there).
He fights with himself if he should check on him because on one hand, that is Jiu-er and he likes the kid, but on the other hand, that is also Shen Qingqiu. So he ends up just throwing it into the back of his mind.
Later on, Shang Qinghua slips up during a meeting with Shen Qingqiu and accidentally says something Shen Yuan related. Shen Qingqiu clocks that it sounded a lot like the beast taming peak's former head disciple, so he starts interrogating Shang Qinghua.
Shen Qingqiu tells him he knows that disciple was possessed or something like that because the soul was foreign. Shang Qinghua is shitting bricks, but manages to make up a believable lie about how someone from his hometown he was friends with died young and his soul had stuck to the disciple after his qi deviation as the spirit wandered. And that was why he had gotten sick because the soul rejected the vessel.
Shen Qingqiu can tell there's parts that aren't completely true but he can't find any full lies either. He concludes that Shang Qinghua is just lying about parts that would be too personal or something.
And after more pushing, he gets Shang Qinghua to admit he knew Shen Yuan was going to die and they planted a plant body for him to transfer into. Almost instantly Shen Qingqiu demands to meet Shen Yuan, and Shang Qinghua can't weasel himself out of this one and begrudgingly arranges an excursion out of the sect. Yue Qingyuan agrees almost instantly because Shen Qingqiu never left the sect after Shen Yuan's death, so he thinks it'll be good for him.
They go to a town Shen Yuan frequents and find him pretty quickly. Shang Qinghua points him out and doesn't even bother following Shen Qingqiu and just goes off to do something else (he refuses to third wheel here)
Shen Qingqiu goes to Shen Yuan and starts bickering with him almost instantly (he got nervous in front of him crush). Shen Yuan calls him a pest as always and fondly rolls his eyes before realizing that Shen Jiu probably didn't recognize him and went to backtrack.
Shen Jiu stops it and tells him that Shang Qinghua told him. Shen Yuan is surprised and then gets awkward as he tries to apologize for not telling him. Shen Jiu cuts him off and tells him he has no interest in apologies, and also that he figured it out a while ago.
And then they idk have some totally #platonic #heterosexual gay sex in Shen Yuan's inn room. I don't know bro I didn't think about the ending. They could've just talked. Honestly whichever one you want ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯
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dedalvs · 5 months ago
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My brother and I absolutely cackled after that Aemond and Aegon Valyrian exchange!
I wanted to ask (and I'm terrible at conlangs, so forgive me) what grammar/syntax Aegon is stumbling over here and how to properly say what he intended to? Any why is he making thise mistakes (simply lacking the vocabulary, or rules of the language he hasn’t grasped)?
Let's take a look at it. This is what he said:
Nyke koston... Bēvilus... Sētegon bīlīvāzmi?
The subtitles say this:
"I can... Have to... Make a war?"
Prior to this Aemond is, essentially, showing off. He knows that Aegon has simply not put any time into studying Valyrian (or studying anything). At this stage, Valyrian is no longer spoken by the family on a day-to-day basis—especially as Alicent probably never learned it at all (or if she did, only in a few scattered lessons here and there; not to actually use). In order for either of the boys to gain any kind of fluency in the language, they have to study constantly and find ways to use it. There's simply no daily need for the language—and plenty of reasons not to use it, as very, very few people they'll encounter on a daily basis speak the language.
Now, if we were talking about two random people in Westeros, this wouldn't mean anything. But these are the children of Viserys Targaryen, himself a descendant of Aegon the Conqueror. They brought their family line and their culture with them to Westeros—and, of course, their language. If someone like Alicent Hightower doesn't speak High Valyrian it means nothing. If a Targaryen doesn't speak High Valyrian, though… See, they're supposed to be able to speak Valyrian. Failing to do so carries with it a sense of shame that isn't present for a random person who doesn't speak Valyrian. Aemond knows this. Aegon is annoying him, so he goes poking at that wound.
Aemond could have fed him a short line with an obvious answer to help Aegon out, but instead he threw a whole mess of Valyrian at him. The longer it goes on, the more lost Aegon gets, desperately trying to catch up and figure out what was just said and thereby missing what is being said at that instant. From the whole speech, Aegon probably only figured out that he was being asked a question, and it was something having to do with planning.
So, back to what he says. The beginning student of a language is quite adept at doing a single verb in a present tense sentence. In a discussion like this, though, you're typically saying things like "I think that" or "We should" or "I suggest" or "Perhaps we might", etc. All that stuff that we need to offer opinions, make suggestions, hedge, etc. Much more than simple narration.
Aegon is attempting to do this without a sufficient command of the language. He knows some vocabulary, he knows some grammar, but he simply did not put in the work to actually speak this language. Thus, he has to overcome a lot of Common Tongue (i.e. English) interference.
There are many differences between Valyrian and English, but the biggest one by far is the major word order. In English, the verbs come before the rest of the junk; in Valyrian, they come at the end. And this is how things get all messed up.
In English, you start the sentence saying things like "I think" or "We should" or "It seems". In Valyrian, those things come at the end. If you start with the Valyrian equivalent of "I think", you will quickly realize (presuming you know enough of the grammar) that you're sunk, because once you've said it, the sentence should be done. Thus you get Aegon's false starts.
Starting at the beginning, Aegon says Nyke koston, which is kind of like saying, "I could". But there's nowhere to go. This is how a sentence ends. For example, if he wanted to say, "I could fly to Harrenhal", he would say Harenhalot sōvegon koston—literally "To Harrenhal fly I could". If you're thinking English-ly, you're essentially thinking backwards, and if you simply translate what you're thinking, you'll immediately have nowhere to go. You'll have to take a pause and think about how to get started again. And that's exactly what happens here.
Now, leaving aside that Valyrian is a pro-drop language and starting it off with nyke "I" is unnecessary and makes you look like a beginner, koston isn't bad (I mean, if used sentence-finally). Once he realizes he can't start there, though, he loses confidence. It's those old High Valyrian lessons all over again, and some maester suggesting he hasn't studied. That self-doubt makes his facility with Valyrian worse. This means his chances of recovery are severely hampered.
But onward he presses, and he decides to say "We have to" or "I have to". Now, the problem here is in Valyrian that requires the verb bēvilagon. This verb isn't used in the usual way. Literally it means "to lie on". If you wanted to say "We must mobilize our dragons", you'd say Īlvī zaldrīzī mazannagon īlo bēvilza. That's literally "Our dragons to mobilize us it lies upon". The one who must do something is placed in the genitive and put directly before the verb. If you start with the verb, well, you missed your chance to say who it is that must be doing something—let alone what they must do. Another false start.
It's also worth noting that he says bēvilus as opposed to bēvilza. Let's ignore that it's the aorist and focus on the fact that it's the subjunctive (just like koston). You use the subjunctive with your main verb when you're hedging—when you're suggesting. Not when you're commanding. Kind of an odd thing to say "We must do this" with the subjunctive. Kind of like saying "Maybe we might considering having to do this".
At this point, his confidence has completely evaporated. Everybody's staring at him like he has no idea what he's talking about; Aemond's eating it up. He knows he's cooked. He's got to say something, though, so he says sētegon which isn't even conjugated. It means "to make" or "to create", which might make sense in English (e.g. "to make war"), but doesn't make sense in Valyrian (a bit like saying "to construct a war" or even "to bake a war") and then tries to pronounce vīlībāzmi "war" (wrong case/number, wrong order) and fails, saying bīlīvāzmi, which means nothing (also he wanted vīlībāzme. Vīlībāzmi is "wars").
Long story short, he doesn't present himself very well—and we didn't even talk about his general pronunciation or intonation. It's kind of a great big mess in only five words. A true disaster.
But if there were no expectation that he should be able to speak Valyrian, none of this would matter! If there were no shame associated with him specifically not being able to speak Valyrian no one would expect it of him, and this challenge would mean as little as someone challenging him to speak the Old Tongue or Asshai'i. It'd be meaningless.
In short, this small portion of this scene is about being a heritage speaker of a language. It's the exact nightmare scenario all heritage speakers fear: To be put on stage and made to perform despite being unequal to the task while simultaneously feeling that they should be equal to it.
It'd be so cool if it was okay to be kind of good with a language—if that level of mastery was acceptable. In the real world, anyway.
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sexlapis · 1 year ago
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[◉°] … toji & y/n being a couple for 10 minutes straight pt.3
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ。˚ 𓂋 ❄﹒✦﹒✿ ˚
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꩜ actor!toji x actress!reader
⤷ synopsis : just toji & reader being idiots in luv…
꩜ content : crazy fans, very mild physical violence (toji pushing ppl lol), toji being a little ooc again. this is really not as wack as the warnings are making it sound.
- a/n : loads of people seem to be enjoying this & i enjoy making them, so here you go! :D
. . . part 1, part 2, part 4
masterlists
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౨ৎ first clip
(recorded by your fansite) - you & toji are at the airport and it is packed. there are fans swarming you, practically suffocating you & toji, along with paparazzi taking pictures of you, flashing lights in your face. your bodyguards are literally at war trying to guard you and you have to cling onto toji’s arm to even get past the sea of people.
all of a sudden one fan somehow gets way too close, and grabs a hold of your shirt, trying to drag you towards him. you jerk forward and without even hesitating, toji just grabs the face of the crazy fan and pushes him away like it’s nothing, causing a domino effect having other fans falling over as well.
toji puts an arm around you and guides you to check your tickets, ignoring all the chaos he caused behind him.
(this got a lot of mixed reactions, some people siding with toji saying he was just protecting you & others criticising him for his rash actions that could’ve caused people to get injured 💀)
౨ৎ second clip
you & toji were doing a video for WIRED, taking part in their popular series, “Web’s Most Searched Questions” about yourselves.
“okay third question..” you say, and peel off the paper. “are _____ and toji..dating?”
you & toji look at the camera and then at each other, faces hot and you’re both awkwardly smiling before looking at the camera again. you & toji speak. “yeah, i dunno.” “nooo idea.” “literally no clue whatsoever.” “why even ask that like-like we’d know the answer?”
you peel the next question and it’s even worse. “are _____ and toji having- A BABY?!” you shout and cover your face laughing, both in shock and amusement. “what?!”
toji just facepalms, hiding his pink cheeks and sighs tiredly. “christ…”
౨ৎ third clip
you’re at a press conference for the series you and toji are in, all the cast members are gathered on a long table with microphones but it’s a pretty informal gathering and the fans are being very interactive with the cast!
a crew members hands the microphone to a fan who has a question. “hi! hi, i’m sarah and uhm..i have a question for toji. and _____ too! do you think that your characters have a chance of..like..getting together? like romantically-?”
“yeah we’re getting together,” toji responds bluntly, reeling in the loud cheers from the crowd & he decides to add fuel to the fire. “and we’re gonna have a make-out scene too.”
the audiences goes crazy with applause and whistles, while you pinch the bridge of your nose, shaking your head in embarrassment as the cast look to see your reaction.
then the director of the show pitches in, holding her finger up. “just to clarify, we did not discuss this..”
there’s a chorus of laughs and sad ‘awws’ among the pool of fans which only makes you giggle. you didn’t even know what to say to toji’s brashness.
gojo chimes in with his loud mouth while everyone is still buzzing from toji’s unexpected words. “talking about kisses and stuff like. this guy’s just saying what he wants to hear!”
everyone starts creasing up again and you & toji lean your heads to look at each other on opposing ends of the table, and he just smirks at you while you just shake your head and try not to look so obvious..
౨ৎ fourth clip
vogue did a video with you getting ready for a fashion show you were invited to, by the designer herself.
the makeup artists had just finished your shimmery, fairy-like makeup and now the stylists were accessorising you with jewellery and fixing your hair.
“yeah i really like how the hair is done,” you say, referring to the baby pink ribbon tied cutely around your bun. “it’s really cute! and the dress is just so-”
the door to the dressing room opens and toji pokes his head in, the camera zooming in on him. “‘ya done yet?”
“toji?” you ask, exasperated. “toji get out! we’re not finished yet..”
toji looks you up and down in confusion. “ya look done to me. we gotta leave in like-”
“toji i am clearly not finished. we have to go through which jewellery looks the best with the neckline of the dress and..my whole look altogether so it doesn’t drown me out! and then we have to pick the correct shoes and make sure i’m comfortable with them and that they look pretty but also don’t take attention away from the dress. and then for the perfume-”
“yeah, yeah, alright, i get it.” toji totes. “but we have to be there in 30 minutes so-”
“oh toji’.” you sigh, looking in the mirror while the stylist fuss around you. “it’s okay if we’re late. i’m the main event. the designer invented me personally. they won’t even start the show if i’m not there. it’ll be fine, trust me.”
toji looks at you for a moment and then simply shrugs, nodding and accepting your words.
౨ৎ fifth clip
“so yeah, this is the book i’m reading.” you hold up ‘pride & prejudice’ to the camera for your fans to see. you were on a livestream, which you don’t usually do, and many fans were watching. “i just love this book. the characters are-”
loud, thudding footsteps can be heard in the background and you pause. a deep, clearly a man’s voice can be heard and then a shirtless toji walks into frame (as identified by his tattoos bc his face is not on camera). he reaches out of frame.
“sorry, jus’ forgot my shirt.”
he puts his shirt on, not even realising what he just did in front of 50,000 people and walks out of the room
it all happened so fast, you sit with your jaw open like a fish, holding your now forgotten book in your hand while the chat goes wild, spamming questions of “who is that?” “is that toji?” “you and toji are together?” in a frantic, chaotic fashion.
you just look at the camera and reach forward, abruptly ending the live. fans did not stop talking about this moment for months and they most certainly did not believe you when you said toji was just at your house for a little ‘visit’.
౨ৎ
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tag list: @tiredslepz | @hayatslife | @shxyxyxxxx | @snowprincesa1 | @laylasbunbunny | @mimiemie
a/n: yk how hard it is to think of ideas for this omg 😭💔
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pathologicalreid · 1 month ago
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an ode to a conversation stuck in your throat | s.r.
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in which Spencer tries to talk you out of taking a job across the country
margotober masterlist
who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: fluff content warnings: miscommunication (sigh), very cheesy, brief mention of wine, defining the relationship, insecure spencer, easily confused reader, chemist!reader word count: 1.04k a/n: if i could go a week without writing a dwg song fic that would be crazy. also surprise it's chemist!reader again.
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"Thanks for stopping so I could change,” you say to Spencer, leading the way into your apartment and locking the door behind you. “I’m sure lab dress code and David Rossi dress code are miles apart,” you continue, hanging your backpack on the wall.
Spencer hums in response, “You’d look great in anything you wear.”
Your face warms at the compliment, “You’re sweet. You can just wait out here, I shouldn’t be more than a couple of minutes,” you gesture to the living room, smiling at him before heading off to your room.
Nervously, you pull off your lab-safe attire and discard all of it into the laundry hamper before putting on the dress you’d chosen for dinner tonight. It’s not overly fancy, but you hope his team will like it. You hope his team will like you.
Looking at yourself in your dresser mirror, you reconsider your choice of shoes, switching from a pair of kitten heels to flats before walking out the door, “Hey, Spence, is Rossi’s patio heated, or should I bring a sweater for when the sun goes down?” You stop in your tracks when you find Spencer, still in the entryway, looking at the color-coded whiteboard calendar you keep by your front door, “What’s up?”
His hands are stuffed in the pockets of his slacks, and he looks upset. What’s worse is you think he might be upset with you. “What’s this dinner you have planned next Friday?”
You feel like a child who’s been caught doing something they shouldn’t be, draping the proposed sweater over the back of a kitchen stool and crossing your arms in front of your stomach. “It’s a work dinner,” you answer nervously.
“With?” Spencer asks, but he’s not pushy about it, there’s something desperate in his tone.
Pursing your lips, you look at the purple writing on the calendar, “The chair of Biochemistry and Molecular Genetics at Northwestern, and a representative from the college's dean. They’re offering me a job with a private lab and my own team of researchers… so they’re taking me out to dinner.”
Spencer’s face fell, “They’re offering you a job in Chicago?”
“Well, that’s where Northwestern is. Evanston, if you want to get technical about it,” you respond, chewing on the inside of your cheek.
He looks at you dumbfoundedly, “I don’t want to get technical about it. When were you going to tell me that you’re taking a job in Chicago?” It almost seems like he’s afraid.
You raise your eyebrows in curiosity, you’ve been seeing each other for a month, and you’ve never known Spencer to jump to conclusions. “I’m not,” you tell him, keeping your tone void of any accusation, “They’re just taking me to dinner.”
Spencer sighs, “But they’re offering you a job. In a different state. In a different timezone.”
Admittedly, he was beginning to sound a bit ridiculous to you, “Don’t you field offers from colleges all the time? They want you to teach or tell you to become Spencer Reid, PhD, PhD, PhD, PhD, or whatever?” 
His eyes follow you as you move to sit down at the kitchen counter, “It never gets as far as dinner.”
“I’m not taking the job,” you tell him simply, shrugging your shoulders demurely.
Spencer falters at that, knitting his brows together as he tries to piece together the answers you’re willingly giving him, “If you’re not taking the job then why are you going to dinner with them?”
Hiding a small smile, you give him the truth, “They pick up the tab. I go to a lot of these and I get good food out of the deal. These people love to schmooze but I’ve never been offered anything that I would be inclined to accept.” This specific job seemed perfect on the surface, but they weren’t willing to let you choose what to research. That was non-negotiable for you.
“I could schmooze you,” he insists, “You don’t need other people to schmooze you.”
You giggle at him, waving him over to you so you can look him in the eyes when you tell him, “I go for free food and good wine. No other reason.” Your smile was gentle, but inside your heart was pounding. He was scared I was going to leave, you think to yourself.
He sighs, “Will you… will you tell me in the future when you get these dinner offers?” His voice is tentative, almost as if he’s afraid you’ll think he’s asking too much of you.
Nodding, you reach out and take one of his hands in yours, “I can, but I didn’t think were at the ‘I’m being courted by another workplace, and I wanted to let you know’ stage yet. That’s kind of a girlfriend thing,” you explain.  
Spencer frowns, “Aren’t you?”
Tilting your head to the side, you look at him curiously, “Aren’t I what?”
“My girlfriend,” he clarifies.
Your eyes go wide, “Oh! I didn’t think so, I thought you had to ask yet.” Although you’re far from a relationship expert, you’d had to ask your PhD advisee what to wear before your first date with Spencer.
The panicked look on his face returns, “I’ve been telling people you’re my girlfriend. Should I not have been doing that?”
Shaking your head, you beam up at him, “I don’t mind. I just thought you had to ask about that kind of thing.”
“I don’t know,” he admits, “I’ve never really done this before.”
The two of you sit in an awkward silence for a moment before you decide to speak up again, “So, just so we’re on the same page. I’m not moving to Chicago.”
Spencer frowns again, and you have to hold yourself back from using your thumb to smooth out the crease on his forehead, “Will you?”
Confused, you lean your head back, “Move to Chicago?”
“Be my girlfriend,” he amends quickly.
You nod, “I would love to.”  
“And just so we’re on the same page,” he ducks his head down, so close to a kiss that it makes you feel dizzy, “I like to think I’m the only one who can really court you.”
Laughing, you lean forward and peck his lips, “I would be insulted if you didn’t think that.”
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etherealkissed88 · 7 months ago
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how i manifest when i feel anxious •°. *࿐
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i decide i have what i want…
when i feel anxiety -> i let it pass while knowing its only a human reaction
◦ since i am beyond just a human (i am limitless imagination/self), i know any anxiety is below me and it has nothing to do with my limitless self. i have exactly what i decided i have, regardless of any anxiety.
know anxiety usually comes from a fear of failure
◦ so, i cannot limit myself based on what i see or what i negatively assume my future will look like bc i am always beyond the 3d, no matter what feelings/anxiety my human self experiences.
◦ i become indifferent/i dont care about what i see or what i assume i will see because i know everything comes together in the 3d once i change self/know its done. fact: everything always comes together and works out in the end. being indifferent to the 3d = being indifferent to emotions, anxiety and everything that doesnt serve you.
dont fight it, dont avoid it, tackle it head on
◦ acknowledge you are experiencing anxiety bc you are. yes it can feel like shit but it doesnt have to affect who you are being (whatever version of self you are embodying). again, i can choose to be indifferent to this anxiety. you dont have to be scared of the anxiety. it is a natural human response. cry if you need to, let it all out. dont try to suppress it bc that will only come to bite you back in the ass, believe me.
◦ take care of your mental health in whatever ways necessary. when i used to experience anxiety, i used to take walks in the park, clear my head, meditate, express myself and my emotions through art and journaling, etc. remember nothing you do (or feel) in the 3d has to affect who you are being/your state.
"how can i still have anxiety yet still be a desired version of me?"
anxiety has no affect on anything unless you allow it to change your identity. you are the one with power, the anxiety is only an experience, similar to breathing in oxygen and using our sense of touch; its all neutral. when you start surrendering to the anxiety, you are creating and accepting negative stories that you create based on the feeling of anxiety. allowing that anxious feeling to change your state/identity is surrendering to something you view as more "powerful" than you. stop transforming that anxiety into a state that you embody based on the false, negative stories u imagine.
remember a 3d experience or anxious feelings doesnt have to influence who you are being. an example: a model who knows (fulfilled) that she is graceful and beautiful can have anxiety about doing her catwalk. the anxiety is normal, she can experience the symptoms of anxiety (shortness of breath, dry mouth, shaking) but her core identity/state is still a graceful model. the anxiety is only a temporary feeling. usually when we experience these feelings, they occupy all of our attention in that moment which is why it seems so scary but in reality, its not that big a deal. know that anxiety is just a feeling. you are safe. you can still experience shitty feelings while knowing you are a bad bitch!
you dont always identify with everything you experience. for example, a lot of people experience good things and still identify as people who are unworthy of good things. so its really up to you to choose what to identify with.
i know my only job is knowing its done
◦ if i just decided its done, as the operant power, as i say goes, therefore its done. so my job is done. anxiety is part of the 3d, not my limitless self, imagination. so i can be indifferent and experience it without identifying with it, the same way people manifest what they desire while experiencing their shitty circumstances daily (because they do not identify with those shitty experiences).
◦ ive heard/experienced situations where we know its done yet we cried and felt like shit, and what we wanted still manifested into the 3d. bc anxiety is only a feeling. do not allow your feelings to take hold of your state, but if it does, its never the end of the world... just get back in the state. 3d shit/anxiety doesnt have to intervene with who you are being/what you identify with.
kisses, jani ☆
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joyful-soul-collector · 1 year ago
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I've seen a lot of people talking about how Barbie talks about how the patriarchy affects women and how well it does that, so I wanna talk about how Barbie talks about how the patriarchy affects men and how well it does that. Because it does that really well tbh.
At the beginning of the movie, it's made very clear that the Kens are constantly competing with each other, and trying to prove their worth, their Ken-ness, to both the Barbies, and more importantly, to the other Kens. In fact, multiple times through the movie it's shown that Ken seems to find the opinions of other Kens as a motivator for him to do things. He tries to show off to Barbie only after he sees the other Kens saying hi to her. He only starts dancing with Barbie when he sees the other Kens dancing with her. He only goes with her to the Real World after another Ken accuses him of cowardice and he decides to prove him wrong. Barbie says "Ken's not cool!" and Ken responds "He is to me."
This shows so damn well what the patriarchy is like for men. Because for the Kens it's not necessarily about Barbie, it's about what other Kens think of you. Being a man you are constantly, incessantly trying so damn hard to prove to the other men around you that you are a man, the manliest man to ever man, the best Ken to ever Ken. Literally doing backflips trying to prove yourself. And this is before patriarchy is even officially introduced to the story, there's no undertone of power yet, this is just what it's like to be a man around other men. It's toxic masculinity.
And when the patriarchy is introduced, that's increased tenfold. At first it looks like they've banded together to take power, but really they're still competing with each other, they're just doing it differently. Rather than competing to see who can get Barbie to fall in love with them, they're competing to see who can be the manliest, have the manliest stuff, wear the manliest clothes, have the manliest house and decorations.
And then they literally go to war. War is considered one of the few places where it's socially accepted for men to be more emotional, form deep and personal bonds with other men, and that's exactly what happens in the movie. They go to war, and there's an entire song where they bond and learn not to fight with each other anymore.
And that I think is the message from the Kens. For men, the way the patriarchy affects them is it forces constant competition and animosity, even around people that are supposed to be your friends. It makes it impossible to express your feelings unless they're with a romantic partner, and all of this turns you into a pent up ball of emotions with nowhere to go.
Which means that the message is: In order to fix the way the patriarchy oppresses men, men need to learn how to form close bonds with people, especially other men. Because like Barbie said to Ken, he needs to discover who he is without her. Men have learned to lean on women as a crutch, using them to figure out how to Be A Person and express emotions in a healthy way, but this can very quickly turn into a woman feeling like she needs too be his mother and teach him how to do these things. And Ken was 100% doing this, or at least he was trying to throughout the movie. Ken was so desperate for Barbie to be in love with him, not necessarily because he loved her, but because he needed a person he could just exist as himself around. Because he couldn't do that with the other Kens, the only person he could be himself around was Barbie.
And what's so great about the end of the movie is that the Kens did eventually figure out how to form close bonds with each other! They went to war, argued and fought, but by the end of the song they were holding hands, kissing each other on the cheek, telling each other they were enough. Even when Ken is up in the dreamhouse, crying and saying that he looks stupid, all the other Kens start shouting back up to him, saying that he looks cool. And Ken responds by giving one of his new friends his coat, which was clearly very important to him.
What the Kens did, that's what men in the real world need to do. They need to form close bonds with other men and stop competing with each other. Hopefully not by going to war the way the Kens did, Barbie isn't a blueprint for solving the patriarchy lol.
I'd be happy to do it through a song though.
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miyukisu · 3 months ago
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NSFW Alphabet | Sae Itoshi .ᐟ
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❤︎ | Get to know Sae Itoshi from A to Z~ ╰ feat. sae itoshi x afab! reader
minors do not interact
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[A] Aftercare Decent. Bare minimum. Not over the top. At the very least he would wipe you down and clean you up without expecting you to move an inch. He'll even guide you to the bathroom if you plan to shower together (there are times when he carries you, but that's reserved for days when he REALLY goes all out on you). You have to specifically request for things if you want him to do it. Otherwise, that's all you're getting.
[B] Body Part Sae's canonically into ass. But it's important to note that he cares more about shape rather than size. He'll subtly ogle at your ass even in broad daylight, especially if you're wearing tight clothes that showcase it. On himself, however, he's aware of how nice his thighs look. Sometimes he'll pass by a full-length body mirror in just his boxers and he'll stand there for a minute to admire his legs. Partially, this is why he enjoys working out his legs.
[C] Cum Cums a lot, but not thick. It's more on the translucent side. He maintains a healthy diet so you can expect the taste to be bearable. Of course, he likes to release on your ass, but sometimes it gets on to your back as well. It's a sight he never gets tired of.
[D] Dirty Secret Even with his partner, he would hate to admit that he likes taking nude pictures of himself. It's not like he's going to send them out or that he gets off to it; he's no narcissist. But there's just something inexplicable about doing it. He'll snap a few, look at them, then delete them. He isn't sure why. But if you're into receiving nudes, he'll gladly comply (that is, if you've been together long enough).
[E] Experience Despite his good looks, it's surprising to know that he hasn't done it with a lot of people. He only does it with someone he's in a relationship with and even that rarely happens. He's a busy person and it takes longer for him to develop trust for anyone compared to the normal person. But you could say that he's a natural. He can make you cum at least a couple of times through instinct alone.
[F] Favorite Position He has a hard time picking between plain ol' doggy and reverse cowgirl. See any similarities? Yeah, both positions just give him a nice view of your behind. It allows him to grope, squeeze, and slap it any time he wants. He particularly likes watching it jiggle at every hard thrust that he does. Although, he might prefer doggy a little more as he can have most of the control in that position. But it's trivial to pick. He'll just have you in both positions each time you decide to do it anyway.
[G] Goofy The man doesn't smile, let alone laugh, during sex. It's not that he's not enjoying it, but he doesn't find the act to be humorous at all. He finds it weird to call it "fun". He'd rather describe it as passionate and intense which is why he's serious. However, there are VERY rare moments when he cracks a small smile, but it only happens in highly emotional moments (like your first time having sex as a married couple, for example).
[H] Hair He trims it, but not for sexual purposes. He's an extremely hygienic man, so he does it out of self-care. In reality, he doesn't care too much about what their partner thinks of his hair. If they like it; then great. If they don't; they can deal with it. Besides, he doesn't care about his partner's hair. He'll take whatever's waiting for him down there. He'll never go fully bald because he finds it odd. He'll trim it a bit regularly and that's about it.
[I] Intimacy A very passionate lover; that's for sure. As I've mentioned, he finds the act to be something serious. He'll only do it with you out of love and care. So even if he doesn't outwardly seem like a romantic person in bed, he definitely is. He likes to keep it fair in the bedroom. So if he's enjoying, you should be enjoying it just as much as he is. Although, he doesn't speak much, but he'll call you "Amor" sometimes. Sae will whisper that name in your ear gently.
[J] Jack Off As you might expect, he doesn't do it a lot. For one, he's too busy doing or thinking about something else. It's something that he can only think about doing when he's lying in bed at night with a blank mind. Sae mostly does it out of frustration—if he wants to release pent up emotions without lashing out on someone else. He's quick and likes to get the job done as fast as he can. Can you blame him? It relaxes him after all. Though, he isn't immune to temptation either. If you send him jack off material, he'll gladly use it.
[K] Kink Sae discovered it a bit late, but he likes brat taming. He doesn't even know that it's a thing. He just knows that he likes putting disobedient girls in their places. He'll act annoyed or pissed off at your insolence, but deep down, he's craving that you do it more. Something about feeling that his authority is being challenged, excites him. Of course, it adds some spice to your bedroom activities. But maybe it has to do with him proving to you over and over again that he's the one in control—he's the one holding the reigns. He especially loves it when you eventually become obedient in the end. But keep being a tease; he eats it up.
[L] Location Anywhere as long as it's inside the house/apartment/hotel. He likes the privacy and comfort that those places offer. He can't be bothered to think about the possibility of getting caught. As thrilling as it might be, he has a reputation to uphold. The impending PR work is not worth the orgasm, at least for him. He also would hate to do it in a place that would force you into a weird position. At least at home there's a bed, a couch, a chair, or a counter for you to use. Again, he's a hygienic guy, so the dirty outdoors is a huge no for him.
[M] Motivation First of all, he has to be either extremely relaxed or incredibly frustrated—there is no in between. But once either condition is met, it's not that hard to get him in the mood. In fact, he likes to hear how eager you are. Simply asking him if he wants to do it would be more than enough. Even better if you express how much you've been needing him throughout the day or week. There are times when he initiates things, but that usually happens when you're already touching each other (like while cuddling). You'll know because he'll grind his hard on against you or deliberately take your hand and place it there.
[N] No Anything extreme is off the table for him. In many ways, he's quite vanilla. The farthest he'll go would be a little bit of bondage and usage of toys. But if there's extreme pain, blood, piss, and things beyond that involved—consider him out.
[O] Oral Again, he likes to keep things pretty equal, so likes both giving and receiving. Although, you might notice that he'll go at your pussy first before letting you suck him off. It gets him into the momentum apparently. Plus, most of the time, he already gets you to cum from his tongue alone. You swear that he gets better each time he does it. You can never last long since he likes to suck on the clit, oop. When you suck him off, he'll tangle his fingers in your hair and guide you lightly. He lets you do your thing, pretty much. The only exception is when he's really stressed out—expect him to tug at your hair a little harder then.
[P] Pace He usually likes it slow and sensual. Sex is the only time he feels relaxed and in control of his time. Why would he want to rush it? The atmosphere also feels different for him when he goes slow. Furthermore, Sae uses this as a way to observe you properly—which spots to hit, which points to stimulate at the same time, and so on. It gets him off knowing that he can get better and better at providing pleasure. Consider it as part of his ego as well. He might take it slow, but there are definitely moments when he pounds you hard and steady. The type of pounding that needs you to hold on for dear life or else you'll fall.
[Q] Quickie Not really a fan of it. But it's not like he would never do it. Sae will only resort to quickies when absolutely necessary. Those kinds of situations are mostly when both of your schedules are packed and there is literally not enough time to have proper sex. That or when both of you feel incredibly frustrated and nothing else will satiate you but each other. Another reason why he doesn't do this as much is that it leaves him wanting more. He hates feeling like a needy idiot, so he avoids quickies as much as he can.
[R] Risk He'll try anything not-so-extreme at least once, especially if you ask him nicely. Though he has shown interest in experimenting in bondage a bit, more specifically, in shibari. It's a bit intricate and it might hurt you a bit if not done right, but if you're willing to share that risk with him—he's game. From the Sae perspective, I'd say a risky thing that he does is whispering things in your ear he wouldn't normally say. He just likes to keep you on your toes and the way you clench down on him is just way too good. Besides, you'll most likely forget he said it anyway because he fucks you dumb most of the time.
[S] Stamina His endurance and stamina in general are certainly well-trained, but he is just a man. His dick needs to recuperate at its own pace. Maybe he can last two rounds for the most part, but there are days when he can only last for one. But it's not much of an issue. In that one round, he can last for so long. He can take advantage of that time and make you cum over and over again. Besides, even if you've milked him for the time being, he can still go at it with his mouth and fingers. You'll never catch him breathless after a few measly minutes.
[T] Toys He doesn't own any. He feels silly spending money on such things and using it on himself. But if it's for you; he'll gladly spend as much as he needs. He just doesn't see the appeal of using it on himself. Pocket pussies? Cock rings? Seems a bit ridiculous to him. But if you happen to own a vibe or two, he'll definitely use it. There's no harm in heightening your pleasure anyway. He's also chill with a bit of bondage rope and handcuffs. He's a bit iffy about using dildos though. Maybe it's because of his pride, but what's the use of it when you can have his dick instead?
[U] Unfair He's a tease without even trying. The snarky remarks that he makes comes out of his mouth naturally. "Oh, you're cumming again? You're too easy," and he'll say it with a straight face. Sometimes when you do ask him to fuck you faster, he'll ignore you on purpose. The man wants to hear you beg so nicely for him after being such a brat earlier. Although, he's surprisingly less of a tease as you'd expect.
[V] Volume Mostly grunts and groans. He claims that you will never hear him whimper, so of course, you make it your life's purpose to get him to whimper. It has yet to happen. And he does find it amusing that you think that you can make THE Sae Itoshi whimper like a bitch. Aside from that, the sounds he makes aren't so loud. He makes sure the grunts near your ear, containing it there. BUT, a little quirk of his is that he lets out a long sigh once he cums. It just feels so relieving that he can't help it anymore.
[W] Wild Card He thinks he'd bust right away sometimes whenever you stare up at him while you suck him off. Seeing you servicing him so eagerly while on your knees does things to his brain. It makes his ego swell like insane. "You're such a good girl, amor. You love me alot, don't you?" He'll wipe away the tears that threaten to fall because your jaw's so stretched out. Sae knows you're struggling a bit, but hang on for now and he'll reward you plenty afterwards.
[X] X-ray Not that girthy, but loooooong. He has quite a pretty dick, especially since he keeps it neat down there as well. It doesn't curve that much, but it is quite veiny. You can see the veins because of his pale complexion. There's one particularly thick vein that feels the best when rubbing against your walls. He's also cut, so you know that he has a light pink tip. Definitely a shower.
[Y] Yearning He's definitely more inclined to have sex than jacking off. That's because he'll actually make time for it. Sae will find ways to clear up his schedule or at least have more time with you—to have sex and to do things other than sex, of course. It's an odd, but helpful, trait of his that he can easily match the libido of his partner. Unless if his partner has an insanely high libido, then you'd probably have to find even ground. But again, it's not hard to get him into the mood. So if you initiate or ask him, more often than not—he'll get down and dirty with you in a heartbeat.
[Z] Zzz He doesn't fall asleep right away because, A) he needs to clean up and take care of you, and B) he just isn't tired enough. Don't get him wrong—good pussy pushes him to the edge, but being well-trained just helps him to not pass out immediately after busting. However, he will fall asleep right away once you're all cleaned up and the bed (which presumably got drenched) is all tidied up. Once you're sleeping soundly in his arms, he'll let himself be consumed by slumber as well.
❤︎ Overall: Sae's quite a good lover in that he puts effort and meaning into sex and that he's constantly improving. He genuinely cares about making it an activity both of you enjoy. 10/10 experience.
©kzyluvr do not repost/reupload/translate any of my works on other platforms
╰ author's note Actually a bit terrified that I might have butchered Sae Itoshi in this one
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docdudo · 24 days ago
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Hybrid 141 As Parents - Foster Human Child!Reader (Part 6)
It was getting colder, the days shorter, the nights longer... which meant, you were now stuck with John and Simon buying clothes.
You all ate relatively quickly before that, considering you barely munched in a small burger and fries before giving all the rest to Simon, and soon enough, you were all in a children's clothing store.
You insisted that you didn't really need many clothes, maybe just a jacket, since you didn't have one, and going out without a jacket in this temperature is pratically a death sentence for a human.
So, at first, you did agree to buying clothes, they did seem worried too, so you figured, why not?
But at this point, as you watched them get way more than you first imagined, you were starting to panick a bit.
"I-I really don't need that many, r-really...!"
"There's no way we are letting you out when it's getting close to snowing without proper winter clothing." John huffs slightly, his voice sounding rough this way. "I know how delicate humans are to the weather, you need gloves, thick socks, beanies, warm jackets, pantyhoses..." He lists casually, not even looking your direction as he goes through the toddler's section of the clothing store.
You could only feel yourself being gently bounced on Simon's arms as he tries to reason with you.
"We do have a few clothes from our kids' younger years. But it's not that many, and we don't have socks, or gloves, or beanies, this small anymore."
You frown a bit in nervousness, not sure about all this, but there's little you could do against the stubborness of a dragon.
"Okay, this should be enough." John smiles, taking the bag of clothing to the cash register.
You sigh a little, tiredly leaning against Simon. You got used to him carrying you around, considering he has been doing this for a few hours without tiring at all.
And you also got used to the stares people threw your way... and the coos and aww's too....
But at this point, you were tired. So freaking tired. You weren't one to usually go out, like, ever. So, here you were, drooping slightly against Simon, your breathing getting slower.
"I know, I know, we're going back after this." Simon murmured close to your ear, adjusting your position on his arms so you could lean more against his chest and shoulder, a heavy, giant hand rubbing against your small back.
"Mhm... why... why didn't... the others come too...?" You mumble softly, not managing to contain yout curiosity any longer as you watched John pay for the clothes a few feet away.
"Johnny and Kyle are making last minute adjustments to the house." Simon answers simply, even tho you clearly had a confused expression on your face now.
"Adjustments....?"
"Just some simple stuff. Do you remember how you had to use a car seat to get here due to your height? We got the car seat before, but we still had to do some repairs around the house to be a better fit to your size."
"T-That's... Ah... o-okay..." You nod quietly, not knowing what to say to that.
Tho, you were pretty curious to know what kind of adjustments they did around the house.
"Ready to go?" John asks as he comes back close to you.
"Yeah. The kid's tired." Simon nods easily, already starting to make his way back to the parking lot, John right behind him.
"Of course they are. Let's hurry home then."
After waking up, strapped to the car seat as you felt the car come to a stop, John gently unbuckled you and set your feet on the ground, pushing you softly so you could go into the direction of the entrance, where both Johnny and Kyle were already waiting for you.
"Wee lass, come 'ere!!" Johnny smiles excitedly, only to scoop you up from the ground as soon as you got close enough.
It seems he couldn't hold his instincts in any longer. But... that's okay, considering you were in Simon's arms just some time ago.
Johnny immediatly started to nuzzle into you, taking you inside the house as his tail wagged behind him easily.
"Do ya wanna play with me, pup?" He asks, soft, but excited at the same time.
"They're tired, Johnny." Simon says as goes inside, giving a kiss to Kyle as they pass by eachother, John coming right behind with the things they bought. "Put them to nap a lil'."
Johnny pouts a little, ears pressing down and tail stopping.
"I really wanted to play with the pup..." He almost whines, holding you closer to him.
He felt so damn warm...
"Tav, remember when we had the babies for the first time?" Kyle comments, a soft smile on his face. "Imagine it's like that once again. No playing yet."
"Aye, aye." He sighs, and you try to contain a blush at how they talked about you like you weren't even there. "Time to sleep, yeah, pup? Maybe a bit of cuddles?" The hand that wasn't holding you against him goes to your wrist as he gently pushed his hand under your sweater sleeve, frowning a bit as he felt that you were indeed a bit cold. "Yeah, cuddles, pup. Warm yah right up, yeah?"
He was murmuring softly like he was deep in his instincts, that damn babyish talk coming out once again as the werewolf walked easily all the way back to your room and went inside, closing the door behind him, not bothering to turn on the lights.
"Need warm clothes now, saw that John got you some, very good..." He mumbled like he wasn't even talking to you, affected by his protective instincts. "Glooves, and a wool beanie, wee pup... all bundled up, and warm... let's get warm, yeah? Let's lay down, here..."
And he took you straight to the middle of the room, where the nest carved into the ground was. He didn't even hesitate as he simply threw himself onto the soft blankets and pillows, laying against them confortably and immedaitly putting you against his warm side, tucked between his chest and arm, pulling a blanket to tuck you in gently.
You could barely process what was happening, but you let him, actually feeling... confortable. It was warm, he was warm, and the weird nest thing was definetly soft. And you were tired... so tired, you spend a long time out of the house...
It wasn't a surprise that you fell asleep quickly against him, swearing that you could hear some kind of weird noise and fell some kind of weird vibration by your side. Do werewolves purr?
Well, you could always search later. Right now, you were busy napping against the big and warm werewolf, who thrilled and cooed happily at you.
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anemoiashifts · 4 months ago
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why you should get off social media if you want to shift.
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before you scroll away, i want to challenge all of you to read all of this. this is one of my longest blog posts ive ever made with over 1,000 words. if you can or can’t make it through the whole post, please let me know how far you’ve gotten in the comments below. you’ll get a surprise at the end 🥳 !
social media isn’t an inherently bad thing. however, outside & inside of the shifting community social media (specially tiktok) has been shown to effect our attention span. this shows in my comment sections on my longer tumblr posts that i also share on tiktok, such as this one, when people say things like “im not reading all of that” or “can someone summarize” also “what method should i use” and “why am i not shifting”.
let’s start with the basics of shifting. shifting attempts need some kind of focus; an affirmation, a visualization, some sort of task like counting. if you’re someone who struggles to focus, you will struggle to learn how to meditate or any hobby or task you’re tying to accomplish. all shifting methods are is a meditation. while no, you don’t need a method, I would make the argument learning how to meditate & focus your attention to what you are trying to manifest is an important part of shifting. if social media creates an instant dopamine reward without little effort, the appeal of shifting seems less. this is why i think a lot of people actually like thinking about shifting & creating content for it rather then doing it — because trying to shift requires some level of work without instant reward even if it’s as simple as laying down & setting intention.
if you try to shift & you wake up in your cr still, that isn’t as exciting when comparing it to the idea of shifting. rather, if you post an edit or a video about your dr you will receive a dopamine hit through video interaction (comments, likes, how social media platforms are set up in general). even maladaptive daydreaming can fall into this category to some. the interest in attempting to shift dies because we feel like we aren’t gaining anything from it when that’s not true. when laying down & attempting to shift, we are meditating & training the brain to focus on what we desire most: we’re correcting our attention span.
social media destroys the ability to focus & what we focus on & give our attention to allows room for that desire to grow, to become reality. if we’re always so overwhelmed with information & have so much to stress about, it’s important to recognize what we consume & how it effects our mood & mental health & how it can sometimes delay our manifestations. im not saying you have to be positive all the time, but we’re exposed to so much that it’s important to check in with yourself every once in a while. this can be where shifting content comes into play vs non shifting content. think demotivation, you don’t look for it, it just appears. & how many times have you opened tiktok to look something up to only be distracted by a completely unrelated video that automatically started playing ?
what i mean is people are telling you what shifting is, what works for them (which you could register subconsciously & believe that’s a step by step guide), rather then self discovery. people are telling you what shifting is, how to do it, what to think, what to script, what method you need to do, even if they say “this may not apply to everyone” because of how it’s being presented & spoken about. the said popularity of a method or definition may also come into play & feeling like something has to be right or work because other people align with it. its like math class, the teacher shows you one way to solve a problem then says “your allowed to use your own methods” & shows you one example of it then goes back to using the original method in class that you don’t understand.
another reason is opinions. when being shown so many people speaking on shifting & their thoughts it can be overwhelming. it’s a great thing so many people are willing to talk about their experiences in their desired reality or want to share their personal breakthroughs & opinions on what shifting is, it can be confusing. while everything i just listed is well intended, leaning about shifting through places like tiktok & not venturing out & doing your own research — or just searching methods online & trying it yourself while going in blind — it takes away self discovery.
so, how do we learn about shifting ?
when i say get off of social media, i don’t exactly mean all social media. yes, all of these things happen across the internet but the difference with tiktok is that the fyp isn’t so prominent. this of course also applies to other feeds that are generated, but a lot of the shifting community is ok tiktok so im using the most known example. it’s important to search & decide what information you consume & seek out rather then being told something without stopping to think for yourself. you want the chance to be able to create your own thoughts. your own unique thoughts you have about things make them personal & your own beliefs become stronger when you realize things on your own. it’s more satisfying that way.
places like reddit & searching for questions you specifically have so you don’t have ten more questions shoved in your that you didn’t have before that cause you added worry or unnecessary fear is helpful to keep in mind.
there is room for grey area. not everything needs to be black & white. there should be no consciousness vs multiverse theories because two things can both be true at once. Ike thing doesn’t have to be against something, you don’t have time pick a side. it’s all theory & hypothetical. it’s okay that we 100% don’t know (& will probably never know) what shifting truly is. not everything needs to be discovered to preform it “correctly”. you don’t need to be a master at painting to paint, you don’t need to know how paint brushes are crafted or how canvas is stretched to preform, anyone can sit & learn as they create their first & second & tenth piece. even people who have painted & sold their artwork for millions, don’t know the great’s techniques. they know pieces of them & take what works & discards what doesn’t serve them.
this post isnt to negate any of the good social media has done or sound like my mom & preaching about how social media destroys your brain…but i think we should be mindful of what we consume & how it makes us feel & if we’re speaking for ourselves or parroting others words. there are so many great people & advice out there & im not trying to take away from that. i just think taking a moment to stop & digest what we’re seeing is healthy. this blog post has been a long time coming but i know a lot of people wouldn’t want to hear it. i can promise you, you are more addicted then you think — myself included. i just don’t wake you guys to look back in 10 years & have spent more then half of that looking at a screen when there’s so much life to be lived. i don’t want social media to take away from what we are all here for which when we come down to it is living. shifting is literally wanting to experience life & i can’t help but find it ironic that this is the opposite of everything we wish to accomplish through this practice.
please take care of yourselves. much love.
surprise :) congrats you made it ! here’s your digital slice of cake ! 🍰
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woso-dreamzzz · 1 month ago
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Bear's Halloween
Wonze x Child!Reader
Summary: The third of my Halloween-centric fics
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"I don't know," Lucy says as she adjusts the collar of her shirt," It's kind of itchy."
Keira rolls her eyes. "You chose it," She says," It's too late now."
"I can go up and change."
"And ruin this for Bear?"
In sync, they both turn to look at you.
You're sitting on the sofa, helping Narla wear the blonde wig Lucy had bought a few years ago for a laugh. It's that stupid wig that had sparked this whole mess.
Halloween was coming up and, while you didn't like it in action, you liked the holiday in theory.
You liked the idea of dressing up and getting sweeties but you didn't like having to go out in the dark with all the scary people trying to scare you.
So, this was the compromise.
You refused to go out trick or treating with Bebita so you'd do some trick or treating by yourself at training.
Hence the costume.
Narla was Goldilocks which made you, Mummy and Mum the three bears.
Mum was Daddy bear. Mummy was Mummy bear and you got to be Baby bear.
Lucy sighs, pulling on the collar of her bear onesie. She swore it didn't feel this itchy when she first bought it.
"Come on, bear!" She hollers," Let's get into the car!"
You shuffle forward, Koda bear in your hand and Narla padding after you. You let Lucy lift you easily and put on your seatbelt, kicking your little legs absentmindedly.
"Are you excited, bear?" She asks and you nod.
"We're getting sweeties!"
You don't get sweeties a lot because Keira says they'll rot your teeth and no one wants that.
But this is Halloween and you're allowed to have sweeties if you dress up so that's what you're doing.
Lucy flips up the hood of your bear onesie up so everyone can see the bear face on it before she lets you and Narla out of the car.
Your pumpkin Halloween bucket hangs in your hand as Keira takes the other, leading you inside.
You can spot a group of the girls hanging around just inside the doors and you shuffle your feet, nibbling at your cheek nervously.
"Do you remember what to say?" Keira prompts and you nod, still shuffling anxiously.
You catch her sleeve. "You stay with me?"
"Okay, bear, I'll stay."
Keira's hand gently rests on your back, spurring you forward as you come to a stop in front of Irene, Marta and Caro.
"Go on, bear," Keira whispers," You've got this."
You clear your throat and lift up your bucket up for them all to see.
"Trick-treat...Please!"
A little huff of laughter ripples around the group as they drop a few pieces of candy into your bucket.
"Thank you!" You say, bobbing your head a bit too much because the bear face completely covers your eyes and Lucy has to tug it back so you can see again.
The girls smile down at you and you suddenly go shy, shuffling back into the safety of Keira.
"She's adorable," Irene says," I like your costume, bear."
"'m Baby Bear," You mumble from where you've pressed your face against Keira's legs.
"Well, you're a very good Baby Bear."
"Thank you," You reply, shuffling all the way back to Lucy, who was waiting to take you into the locker room.
She pushes you in first and you suck in a very big, deep breath for a moment before you open your mouth.
"Trick-treat!"
You hold up your bucket and the girls come forward one by one to drop some sweets into it.
Mapi and Ingrid send Bebita along to give you their portion and she compliments your costume before running back to Ingrid to finish whatever breakfast has been packed for her.
Barcelona Halloween is fun, you decide.
The team fill up your bucket, your onesie is nice and warm and comfortable enough to nap in without having to get one of your special blankets and Narla seems to really like her Goldilocks wig.
You sit on the picnic blanket as the others train and Bebita goes around with her snapping jaws trying to bite people.
You stay with your bucket and your Koda bear though, pouring out your sweets and sorting them into little piles.
A shadow falls over you and you look up.
"What are you doing, huh? You know you're not meant to be having sweeties yet. They're for after dinner," Lucy says, hand lightly pushing back the hair that's fallen over your eyes.
"Not for me," You say, sticking your tongue out in concentration," For the team!"
"The team?"
You nod. "Because they did a nice thing for me for Halloween. Now I do a nice thing for them."
Lucy smiles. "That's nice. You're sweet, bear."
"You'll help hand them out?"
"If you want."
"I do." You stand up, reaching for Lucy's hand. "We're going to do a nice thing for everyone."
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